Detector of Interest
by unset city
Summary: Sesshomaru and Inuyasha find some sort of wayward kinsmanship in the form of Kagome Higurashi; after all, who doesn't want a shard detector? Slight Kagome/Sesshomaru pairing


Detector of Interest

A 2,746 worded oneshot.

Disclaimer: If I owned Inuyasha, do you really think the characters would be in any way normal?

Warning: This sort of pokes fun in clichés I see in Kagome/Sesshomaru stories—clichés which I myself have admittedly used. But hey, it makes it all the funnier! Also there is some Inuyasha bashing, but in a loveable way; I could never hate him!

--

They could not have been more different.

He was refined, of noble birth and high in aristocracy. He had all the manners and none of the emotions, he was the living definition of control and gave icy a new meaning. He was the idol all demons in the feudal Japan strove to be, a 'killing perfection' as his name itself dubbed, and he was in essence and power seemingly unbeatable.

The other was nothing less than a slob in manners, crass and rude and so loud mouthed that sometimes it seemed downright impossible. He knew nothing of control, and often forgot to think before he spoke, resulting in, er, more than one awkward situation. He was the demon no one wanted to be because he was only half, the mortal part of him making him little more than garbage in the eyes of the demonic community. He was powerful in his own right, but often he let that power control him instead of controlling it, resulting in many disappointing battles where he had lost.

They could not have been more different, these two.

And yet they were brothers, blood brothers as it were—give or take a separate mother. How they were related in the first place, besides the distinguishable attributes i.e. the blinding silver hair and flashing golden eyes was inconceivable.

So to think that these two brothers could possibly have even _one _thing in common…

Well, that's where Kagome Higurashi comes in.

--

"Inuyasha, don't make me say it _again!_ Gods, just give up already!"

"No way wench! That would let _him _win!"

"So? What's the problem with that? All he wants to know is which way Naraku's located, sheesh!"

It was a typical day in the lives of the Inu-Tachi. The sun was shining, Shippo was bitching, Miroku was groping, Sango was grouching and Inuyasha was having yet another lovely fight with his older brother, who had decided to pop up at such a lovely time and all but threaten to know where Naraku was. Really, the guy was just plain horrible when it came to social skills.

"Inuyasha, provide me with the information now."

"Hell no I ain't! And there's no way you can make me!"

Ok, so his half brother wasn't really good at talking either. It must run in the family, so Kagome thought as she rolled her eyes heavenward in exasperation.

Dear Lord save her from having to sit Inuyasha again and have Sesshomaru almost kill him when he's down!

"_Inuyasha_, just—"

"Kagome this has nothing to do with you!" Inuyasha actually almost barked at her, scowling at his dearest elder brother as he brandished Tetsuiga oh so _adeptly. _In fact, the sword was practically hanging from Inuyasha's hand as he jabbed it threatening in the direction of Sesshomaru, who really just wished he could reach out, grab it and teach the damn half breed how to at least hold it properly. Idiot.

"What do you mean it has nothing to do with me?" Kagome scowled at the half breed's back, her glare sharp enough to make Inuyasha flinch a little. "I swear I'll say the s-i-t word again, and when I do I'm sure Sesshomaru will waste no time in killing your sorry ass!"

"Miko, you have no idea," Sesshomaru growled, narrowing his already pretty damn narrow eyes at the imbecile who refused him information.

"God damn Kagome, shut up and let me handle this! I'm the leader of this group and—"

"Sesshomaru," Kagome completely ignored her half demon friend as she stepped up to the lord of the west, shooting him a brilliant smile as behind her Inuyasha squawked in protest.

"Kagome what--!"

"Lord Sesshomaru, Naraku's supposed to be located northeast of here in a cave in the mountains. Don't ask me why he's in a cave—I guess that's just where you go when you plan on taking over the world."

Sesshomaru blinked slowly down at her, and Kagome could not help but think that he looked a little retarded doing that. What did he not understand? She hadn't even stuttered or anything!

"Miko," he addressed her slowly (still, argh!) "Do you know where exactly Naraku is located in the mountains?"

"Kagome you bitch! Get back here and shut the f—"

"Sit. Hmm…" she thought aloud, choosing to ignore the string of curses emerging behind her from a familiar Inuyasha shaped crater. She swore that there had to be at least a million of them now scaring Japan's landscape with the rate in which she sat the poor boy.

"Well, if Naraku has the Sacred Jewel shard—which I'm assuming he does, since he never leaves home without it—I can track him through sensing that. Why do you ask, Sesshomaru?"

Said demon lord did little more than smirk before, in the blink of an eye, he had the miko in his arm—which was really awkward since he had only one—and was turning on his heel to walk away, ignoring both the loud protests from the humans, the cries from the damn fox kit and the even louder, filthier curses coming from the half breed.

The only one who seemed cool with his whole plan of 'I'm just going to march off with you to find myself some Naraku' was incidentally the miko herself, who merely sighed and went slack in his hold, her light body fitting almost sinfully perfect against his.

Hm, how perfectly cliché.

"So let me guess," Kagome mumbled into the silk of his haori. "You're going to use me to detect the jewel shards to find Naraku, am I right?"

Sesshomaru did not respond verbally, only used some more of his _great _social skills to grunt a response. Kagome could only reply with a sigh. Why did all the hot guys—demons, whatever—only want her for the damn jewel shards? It was enough to make her want to find the Jewel herself and just grind it into powder, that way the breeze could use its amazing powers.

Almighty breeze… Now that was something to ponder about at a later time. At that moment Kagome was too busy focusing on her kidnapping, which would have had no interference if Sesshomaru actually decided to hurry up.

But no, the demon lord had to be suave in everything and just began to walk away, acting completely nonchalant as though he kidnapped teenage girls who were jewel detectors every day. What a prick.

So it really was no surprise that he was meant with some resistance, by Sango's boomerang and Inuyasha's Tetsuiga. Miroku found that his hand was too busy somewhere else to be bothered with helping, especially now that the person of his groping was distracted. _Excellent_…

"Where the hell do ya think you're going?!" Inuyasha yelled—or more like yelped when the noise was examined—at his half brother, a scowl firmly planted on his face even though his eyes looked bewildered.

"Inuyasha," Sesshomaru replied in his special monotone way. "I am in need of your mikos abilities. I will have her back once I have found what I am seeking."

Inuyasha's response was typical as he held Tetsuiga still horribly but tighter, indicating that he was willing to go into another bout of swordplay despite the fact that Kagome would be in the way. Yes, he really thinks hard about his plans.

"You ain't going anywhere with her, you bastard." And ah yes, the typical threats. Now it was Sesshomaru's turn to reply in his typical way—

"Threats are futile little brother."

Within the confines of Sesshomaru's arm Kagome shuddered. Even if his responses were typical, the demon lord sure as hell could still get away with making them work just by using them in his deep sexy voice. But of course she wasn't thinking about Sesshomaru's sexy voice; he was the enemy! And there was no way she could be attracted to him, that'd be too…

…Ah hell, he was hot, clichés be damned! Kagome took the time to eye her captor up as the brothers continued their overused insults in argument.

"Dammit you asshole let her go! I need her too!"

"Oh, do you? And for what—so she can be a replacement for your dead priestess?"

Ouch, that one really was a little beyond the usual remarks. Inuyasha visibly flinched at that and even Kagome, who was only half listening to the argument, tensed and frowned. Somehow Kikyo always had to be mentioned to make things awkward; it was like the law between she and Inuyasha or something. And it was not as though Kagome even really looked like Kikyo—in her opinion she was way prettier. But that really wasn't biased or anything, not at all.

"What?! No bastard—"'bastard' really was Inuyasha's pet name for Sesshomaru, wasn't it?—"She's important to me!"

Well that certainly made Kagome perk up her ears, her irritation melting away as she gave the now flustered Inuyasha a soft smile.

"Oh Inuyasha…"

Sesshomaru watched this exchange and had to resist the strong urge to roll his eyes. Rolling his eyes would be so out of character, even though it was only a small movement. Really though, the relationship between the miko and the half breed really was nauseating, especially since the thought of them together—as in _her _with _him_—made his heart feel funny. He guessed it was only indigestion from that weird dish Jaken had prepared earlier. Where _had _the toad demon found that dead hog anyway?

Sesshomaru was brought back to the current drama when the girl began to wiggle in his arm as for the first time she began to struggle. Although her struggles were pathetic really; all he had to do was tighten his grip around her waist and flex his arm muscles against her stomach and she went immediately still again.

"How very coincidental," he drawled with his trademark smirk. "For it just so happens that she's important to me too."

Now that comment could surely be interpreted a variety of ways. Unfortunately for the already jealous Inuyasha and the crushing Kagome the interpretation of that went beyond her jewel shard abilities.

So Kagome felt her cheeks light up and her heart flutter as Inuyasha let out a snarl, his eyes narrowing on his brother as his eyebrows twitched up and down, up and down.

"You…"

"What do you intend on making her do for you?" Miroku, who now sported a red mark on his left cheek, joined the conversation as he looked curiously—and almost suggestively—between the demon and the miko. And wait; did he just wiggle his eyebrows a little?

Sesshomaru raised a brow at the monk, his poor social skills preventing him from really figuring out the reason the human was looking back and forth between he and the miko like that. He figured it must be a human thing, or at the very least a monk thing, and shrugged it off.

"This Sesshomaru is in need of her services," he declared, "And I will not be hindered by the likes of _you._"

It could be seen that at that Miroku had to bite the inside of his cheek in order to keep in the probably perverted reply that had sprung up into his twisted mind. Even Sango next to him was looking a little pink now, the monk slowly but surely influencing her. Ah, to corrupt the innocent…

And to just let the perverted thoughts come…

Inuyasha, who had acknowledged that there was at least some sort of sexual innuendo going on, only deepened his scowl, letting out a vibrant cry of 'BASTARD!', again with the nickname, as he swung his furry hilted sword at the pair without a thought. Luckily Sesshomaru's reflexes brought him and Kagome to safety as he jumped back gracefully, avoiding the spontaneous attack as he used his demonic speed to race to the edge of the clearing, Kagome in tow.

Turning back, wearing of course his cold smirk, to look at the startled group of vagabonds, he held Kagome closer and said, "I shall have her back when I know Naraku's exact coordinates."

And with that disappeared in a flash of light with Kagome's scream of surprise echoing back, leaving Inuyasha to raise Tetsuiga to the heavens and scream, "GIVE ME BACK MY SHARD DETECTOR BASTARD!!"

And somehow, some way, the human girl who had been so thoroughly whisked away top god knows where managed to hear that, and the feudal countryside could only echo with her outrageous cry of "SIT!"

--

It would be about a month until Inuyasha and his friends saw their dubbed shard detector again. It was another lovely day when Kagome arrived at their camp unannounced, causing Inuyasha to fall out of the tree he had been lounging in before all but stomping up to the human girl, who could only smile up at him sheepishly. Really, she thought, all she had to do was wave a red flag at this point and Inuyasha would charge, no doubt. He was just that angry.

"Hello guys…Inuyasha…" she weakly muttered, looking around Inuyasha to throw a meek wave to her other friends, as she giggled nervously under Inuyasha's dark glare. Shippo—overly excited to see his adopted mother again—went to race for her until he was smoothly intercepted by the still raging Inuyasha, who wasted no time in jutting out a foot to send the kit falling back with a pained yelp, causing Kagome to wince. Poor Shippo was always at the brunt of Inuyasha's anger, wasn't he? "Long time no see, neh?"

"Damn right it's been a long time!" Inuyasha all but spat nails at her. "What the hell Kagome!? Where did he take you!? Did he touch you!? I swear if that bastard touches you I'll—"

"Inuyasha, take a breath before you hurt yourself," Kagome advised cautiously, taking a large step back away from him. "And I'm sorry it took so long. I—well, that is…uh…"

It didn't take much to notice the blush spreading across Kagome's fair cheeks, nor did it take a discerning eye to see the way that she refused to meet Inuyasha's eyes all of a sudden. Miroku, who could sense that something provocative had happened, was the first to question it.

"So what happened between you and Lord Sesshomaru Kagome?"

He didn't bother anymore trying to hide the seductive tone in his voice, causing Kagome's blush to deepen as Inuyasha all but had an aneurism in front of her.

"What?!" he spluttered, "When?! How!? Where!? Why?! Kagome—Sesshomaru?!"

Kagome took another step away from the half demon, biting her lip and nodding her blushing head slowly as behind her, from the border of the trees, the demon lord that had started it all appeared leaning against the trees sporting a victorious smirk, directed at none other than his dearest brother.

"Uh, Inuyasha…" Kagome began quietly as Sango gasped loudly and Miroku bit back his snickers. "Things sort of happened on the mountain and well…"

Inuyasha was turning so many shades of red that he could probably pass for any brand of tomato. He could only continue spluttered, clenching his fists at his sides. "Kagome!? You—I—why?! How…?"

"Well Inuyasha, as to how it's really quite simple…" Sesshomaru retorted from his spot by the trees, and Inuyasha's red face then took on a rather greenish tinge.

Kagome nervously laughed again, flashing the brightest smile she could at her half demon friend as she muttered under her breath, so quickly and quietly that Inuyasha almost didn't catch it, his worst case scenario option number 10.

"SesshomaruandIsortamatedsorry!"

Inuyasha was struck speechless, dumb, staring back and forth between the embarrassed Kagome and the smug Sesshomaru, his mind trying to process it, his heart falling—

And in the end all he could think of was this. "But…You're my shard detector…"

Kagome's blush faded in an instant, her eyes narrowed, and it was all over for Inuyasha as she pursued her lips and screamed, in all her glory.

"SIT!"

Later that day Sesshomaru walked over to the large crater in the ground and, leaning down, whispered to the now semi conscious red form of his brother, "I guess we have to share the detector now, _brother dearest_."

And Inuyasha resolved to never leave his crater again, especially now that he knew he and his brother shared something _alike_.

--

My first attempt at anything humorous, so sorry if it sucks; I'm more of an angsty person myself, but I had this idea in my head and it wouldn't leave me alone, so here it is, produced in about…thirty minutes? Feel free to review!


End file.
